The Courage to Connect
“When you no longer perceive the world as hostile, there is no more fear, and when there is no more fear, you think, speak and act differently.” ~ Eckhart Tolle
Connection is hardwired into our DNA. Humankind survives because we connect with each other in families, communities, tribes, and other social groups. We come together and stay together based on the strength of our ties and the glue of our similarities.
The courage to connect, then, is the courage to reveal yourself to others in the search for your people. You connect because you want to work with the people who get you, adore you, and resonate with your message/vision/ethics. We seek out people like us so we can understand each other and truly feel seen and heard.
So, when you choose to connect with your colleagues and clients, you choose to drop the excuses and put your real self on display, not your “business” persona.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with a business persona per se, but if you’re a funky fashionista trying to fit in with a bunch of straitlaced conservatives, chances are you’re not going to feel fulfilled, and they won’t feel like you can meet or even understand their needs.
I see connection as a communion between Souls: We get the chance to set our masks aside and see how much or how little we have in common, and we don’t beat ourselves or each other up for our similarities and differences.
You are who you are, and the point of connecting is to find the tribe that gets you, stimulates you, and urges you on to ever greater heights. It’s all a discovery process, so if you have a few failed connection attempts, it doesn’t mean there’s nothing or no one out there for you, it just means you haven’t found your fit yet. Keep looking!
The courage to connect in business is the courage to be your true Self, ask for what you really want, and do the work you long to do. This means no trying to force your big, beautiful, kaleidoscopic Soul into a drab teeny tiny box just to please others or project a false sense of self. You are who you are, and you want what you want. Own that.
In this digital age, connecting has never been easier. Most people are just an email or friend request away, and of course you can always make a call or send a handwritten note (how delightfully old school!) to your intended recipient. There really is no reason why you can’t reach out to that one person/company you’ve been circling with stars in your eyes and your heart in your mouth; just one little call/email/note can answer the questions burning in your gut.
The bigger question, though, is are you willing to risk it?
Some people will say no to you. Many people may say no to you. You must be OK with that and not go down a rabbit hole of shame when it happens. Maybe it’s not the right time, the right fit, or the right opportunity; whatever it is, it’s not about you and it doesn’t mean you are any less worthy or qualified to do what you do. When you separate your ego from who says yes or no to you, you free yourself to just do your thing without getting sidetracked by who thinks what of you.
The right people will say yes to you. It will feel divine and glorious and euphoric, and you’ll happy dance to celebrate your great fortune. And maybe it’ll fall through or maybe it’ll be a joy from start to finish, but the truth is you’ll be OK either way.
Sometimes we’re afraid to reach out because we’re scared of failure and we’re scared of success, but life is happening around us anyway, so we may as well dive in the deep end and see how it goes. Hiding from the world is not gonna get you where you want to be, lovely.
How can you start or continue making the connections that matter to you and your business?
