Getting Unstuck

Sometimes you can get so stuck with thoughts and feelings about what you “should” be doing that you forget to listen to your own inner calling about what you actually want to do.

I believe that you …

… cannot heal what you ignore and avoid.

… are armed with the courage necessary to eclipse every obstacle and withstand every fear.

… are a woman of phenomenal power. Within you are the gifts, talents, strengths and abilities that will liberate from oppression in every form.

… already have a strong voice to slice through the fog and inertia of complacency.

The question is, of course, “What are you doing with it?”

Remember, it's never too late to start living the life you want. You have everything you need within you to create the life of your dreams. In this blog post, I'll share tips on how to go out and make it happen! Let's get started:

Tip #1 - Acknowledge your feelings.  

Feelings are just feelings. They are neither good nor bad. They just are. But, when we stuff them down and pretend they don’t exist, they have a way of sneaking up on us and sabotaging our best intentions.

So, the first step to getting unstuck is to acknowledge your feelings. Just allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling without judgment. Don’t try to fix or change anything. Just let it be.

Tip #2 - Get curious about your stuck-ness.

Now that you’ve acknowledged your feelings, it’s time to get curious about your stuck-ness. Why do you think you are feeling this way?

Below is a template to set yourself free.

When I let myself admit it, I know I have a problem with __________.

When I let myself admit it, I feel __________?

When I let myself admit it, I think __________?

When I let myself know it, I suspect __________?

When I let myself enjoy it, I am __________?

When I let myself have permission, I could __________?

Tip #3 - Communicate your needs and set healthy boundaries. 

Your power lies in recognizing what is true for you, irrespective of the opinions of others. This means that you must become fully present with your "yes" and "no". 

Yes, I understand that women have been socially conditioned to be accommodating to the needs of others. The truth is that when you do not honor your heart's desire, you experience the agony of resentment, feeling unseen, unheard and misunderstood. 

If you are willing to be honest with yourself, you know that the real reason that you feel stuck is because you are either spinning in/out of self-doubt, perfectionism, people-pleasing and/or proving. 

This is your invitation to STOP. I cannot emphasize the importance of changing your attitude and behaviors. 

Yes, change can be challenging, however it is necessary if you want to get unstuck. 

A wise woman once said to me "Start where you are, with what you have."

Tip #4 - Connect with the mantra "Know Thyself". 

The only way out is through. You cannot bypass the process of healing, which means that you must be willing to go into the darkness to find the treasure that awaits you on the other side. 

"Know Thyself" is not a destination, it is a journey. As you peel back the layers of your onion self, you will inevitably come face-to-face with your fears and limitations. This is when your courage will be put to the test.

Each day give yourself permission to be yourself without explanation, apology, guilt, shame and embarrassment. The bottom line is that "knowing yourself" gives you the freedom to (a) live your truth by trusting your intuition; (b) speak your truth, even when it is difficult; and (c) live in alignment with your values and beliefs.

Tip #5 - Develop a practice of radical self-care and self-compassion.

This means making a commitment to taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. This may include but is not limited to, acts of self-acceptance, self-love and self-care.

Self-acceptance means embracing who you are, flaws and all. It also means forgiving yourself for not being perfect. When you do this, you create the space for new beginnings.

Self-love allows you to treat yourself with the same kindness, compassion and respect that you would show to your best friend.

Self care is about investing in your health and well-being, both physically and emotionally. This includes releasing the past, forgiving yourself and others, and moving on. It also means letting go of any resentment, anger, bitterness and hurt.

When you take care of your mental, emotional, and physical health, you send a powerful message to yourself and the world that you matter.

Tip #6 - Create a vision for your life.

Napoleon Hill in his classic "Think and Grow Rich" said that imagination is more powerful than rational thought.

With that in mind, it is a good idea to develop a practice that includes visualization, affirmative prayer and mindfulness.

Visualization is the process of creating a mental image of what you want to achieve. Create a vision for your life. See yourself already in possession of your heart's desire. Don't worry about "how" because that blocks the blessing. Stay rooted in how you want to feel.

Affirmative prayer is the practice of speaking words of power and truth over your life. It is a form of self-talk that affirms what you want to be, do or have in your life.

Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment with full awareness, without judgment. Give yourself permission to live in the present moment. This means being fully present with your thoughts, feelings and experiences. When you do this, you connect with the power and magic of Now.

When you combine visualization, affirmative prayer and mindfulness, you are tapping into the power of intention and creation.

Tip #7 - Develop a practice of journaling.

When you journal, you get clarity on your thoughts and feelings. This process also helps to release any buried emotions that may be keeping you stuck.

One of my favorite books is Julia Cameron's "The Artist's Way". In it, she recommends that you develop a practice of morning pages. This is three pages of uninterrupted writing, first thing in the morning.

Tip #8 - Surround yourself with people who support your dreams and vision.

No one can do it all by themselves. One of the best things that you can do for yourself is to surround yourself with people who believe in you and your dreams. These people will help you to stay focused and motivated, and will be there to support you through the good times and the bad.

Tip #9 - Take responsibility for your life.

The bottom line is that you must be willing to do the inner work required to get unstuck. This means changing your attitude and behaviors, and cultivating your inner wisdom. It also means developing a practice that supports your journey towards self-empowerment and self-fulfillment.

There's always room for improvement, no matter where you are in life. If you're not happy with your current situation, make a change.

FUN FACT: Nothing changes until you do!

Which action will you take the next 24 hours to move out of stucness and towards your goals? How may I help you?